The Muppet's Last Supper
/Sesame Street has been postponed for several weeks due to the recent disappearance of the show’s main star performer, Animal.
This red-haired primitive drummer was last seen at a Chinese restaurant called Wong’s Palace with nine of his Muppet co-stars. Including his Electric Mayhem bandmates, the gravelly-voiced keyboardist and leader, Dr. Teeth, and laid-back bass player Floyd Pepper.
The cast members wanted to celebrate another year of success being on-air, mostly in Animal’s honour, for his rising notoriety on the Muppets for his wild antics on and off stage. Because of Animal’s actions, Electric Mayhem’s havoc reached a crowd of cult-like followers, who became devoted to indulging in anarchy with their own.
Kermit the Frog, once the face of The Muppets, has seen his popularity decline substantially. Due to the show’s primary focus on Animal and his bandmates painting the city red, the wholesome frog act isn’t cutting it with viewers anymore. But he seems to be on amicable terms with musicians as he, too, attended Animal’s party.
Since Wong’s Palace was already packed enough for this large group, restaurant owner Mr. Wong made an exception. He had his staff put together two long dining tables horizontally, due to limited space, facing the front of Wong’s Palace.
The thirteen stars, including Animal, were enjoying their warm Tsingtao (Chinese Beer) and cracking their fortune cookies together.
Strange events began to happen within the restaurant’s setting. Their beer began to turn into blood, as some of them gulped it down without noticing the strange taste. When it came to their fortune cookies, unsuspecting partygoers started taking bites out of their fortune cookies and found themselves spitting out tufts of red fur with embedded skin.
All the fortune cookies they cracked open had the exact same ominous sentence: “One of you shall betray me,” written in Animal’s almost illegible handwriting.
The partygoers broke into fits of panic and threw themselves at the stringy caveman’s feet, demanding to know whether they would be the Judas of the group.
Animal merely replied, “Nuh uh.”
But Kermit the Frog, who was getting a little too hammered on the red beer, got more than he’d bargained for. When it came Kermit’s turn to say “Is it me, Animal?”, the Muppet turned to him, all teeth, and growled right back, “IS IT ME, ANIMAL!?” in his guttural voice.
The sloshed frog made his way towards Animal, stepping over other Muppets’ toes. Collectively, the affected Muppets yowled and turned to each other, each expressing their frustration at this fucking frog with raised arms. Kermit, oblivious, gave Elmo a big smooch on his cheek before accidentally knocking hot tea all over his crotch and making him roar aloud in agony.
Mr. Wong thought it would be a good time to photograph them, once again commemorating their last supper.
And then the lights turned off.
This left everyone screeching from fear as they were grabbed and shoved to the ground by some unknown entity. When the lights turned back on, their jumbled bodies all lay on the ground, almost knocked unconscious.
Everyone was there, except Animal.
To be continued….
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Chris Joyal
A nineteen year old unhealthily obsessed with Hannibal memes and anything darkly humorous. Or any stupid pun that my little brain capacity can comprehend. Often called a cave-dweller or ghost by known relatives, and probably a few classmates as well, because of my rare sightings and frequent disappearances, like Big Foot, or the Loch Ness Monster.
