BREAKING: Jeb! Bush Wins 2016 American Election Due to Previously Unnoticed Error
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Bush Stands excitedly in front of a white cutout of the new 2016 election map, now correctly proclaiming him as the winner.
Jeb Bush is now the president of the United States of America. In a surprise turnabout, the Federal Election Commission (FEC) of America has announced that all votes cast during the 2016 General Election, bar a select few, have been disqualified. In a public statement made last Thursday, they cited reasons including “wrong ballot sizes” and “marks outside of requisite bubble” as conditions for ballot removal. The only correct votes were ones for Republican nominee Bush, and as such he has automatically become the US President.
Bush had dropped out of the presidential race during the primaries, leaving the race for Republican Party leadership to others, including the erstwhile president Donald Trump. Winning every seat in a landslide vote, the American House of Commons is now entirely controlled by Bush, displacing the previously Republican and Democrat owned seats. Meme Magazine reached out to Bush for comment.
“The prophesy foretold of this day!” he explained.
“I will rule America with an iron fist, and everyone will be sure to clap before, during, and after I ask for it! No one will ever dare challenge the might of the Bush dynasty ever again!” the rest of the interview has been omitted due to his continual maniacal laughter and refusal to answer our questions.
Meme Magazine also contacted the printing company in charge of creating and distributing the ballots.
"Well, when (the FEC) said that they needed A4 size paper cut into thirds, they never specified how they wanted it to be cut. I didn’t want to ask and look dumb in front of the election people so we flipped a coin and decided to cut it lengthwise. I guess we weren’t supposed to do that. Oops.”
The Future?
The FEC has urged other voting authorities worldwide to review recent elections in case a similar error has been made. An anonymous source from UK Electoral Commission has reached out to Meme Magazine saying that the possibility of a Bush win in their recent vote is likely.
Bush has already begun to assemble his presidential cabinet,.
“Only the strongest of bushes will rule with me!” announced Bush.
As of reporting, Bush has appointed a local hedge maze as his minister of defense, citing its “Impenetrable walls and inescapable structure”. Rumours have said that a local shrubbery will be the next Minister of Foreign Affairs, but this has been largely dismissed due to it’s British/American citizenship status.
Bush has now made American history as not only first candidate to win every vote, but also as the first write-in candidate to win an American election. The FEC has not made any other statements regarding the situation, but Meme Magazine will be watching intently as the situation unfolds.
As we watch Elections Canada retally their votes, all we can do now is hope. We must hope for America, hope for the United Kingdom and hope that we too, are not next.
Editor’s note: While Meme Magazine is primarily a lifestyle magazine and generally stays away from politics, we deemed this an important event to cover here. While Bush’s meme status has been of some debate, we felt that his involvement in the meme industry meant that this needed to be covered.
Jonathan Jeffrey
Jonathan Jeffrey is the Managing Editor of Meme Magazine. Jonathan has received several awards in the fields of meme journalism, and international fame for breaking the Scumbag Steve scandal. He has a masters degree in Advanced Meme Psychology, as well as a minor in Meme Journalism at KYM University.
