On the Edge of Madness: Miss Piggy's Psychotic Breakdown
/During their decades on The Muppets being on air, there was always speculation over the status of stars Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy’s relationship. Their unconventional and destructive relationship between a domineering pig and yielding frog left the audience reeling for more of their quirky exchange.
Outside the show’s premise however, the ambiguity has remained between the two stars of The Muppets. In contrast, Kermit denies there’s any intimacy between his co-star as it is strictly professional rapport. Miss Piggy, on the other hand, isn’t reserved and content to disclose personal information about their supposed romance.
In recent news, the true nature of the alleged liaison between our notorious duo has been revealed after decades of suspicion. However, this revelation has to do with one certain pig that shouldn’t be messed with when it comes to her spotlight.
This occurred when a new face has emerged on The Muppets; a svelte and fresh-looking pig named Denise, who is now in turn a rival in the eyes of the rumbustious and long-standing veteran Miss Piggy. Especially, when headlines are bombarded with Kermit seemingly enamoured with the young sow guile charm, and even during interviews makes no qualms against denying the rumours circling about a possible romance flourishing.
There have been rumours about how Denise will be replacing Miss Piggy as our rowdy hog has overstayed her welcome.
If only the studio had the hindsight to realize what grave error they were making pushing this pig out of show biz. Miss Piggy certainly wasn’t going to back down quietly, especially with this young pig stealing her hard-earned spotlight and her beloved frog.
On one Monday afternoon, the newly sensational power couple of Denise and Kermit were exiting out one of their favourite cafés. They had found a deranged Miss Piggy with mascara smeared against her bulging eyes, setting their car ablaze right in front of them. The two stood frozen on the spot from start to finish as the crazy pig lit the rags from an expensive wine bottle and threw it against their green, $25,800 Mini Cooper.
She then proceeded to throw herself and viciously tear out Denise’s extensions, as Kermit fainted at the sight of flesh exuding out of the fake hair from the force of her grip. It wasn’t over until the authorities showed up, had her forcefully removed and heavily sedated her on several tranquilizers that could put down a 2.4 meter tall polar bear.
Miss Piggy was still screaming and squirming even under heavy sedation, as many of the authorities came out with broken ribs and noses because Miss Piggy is highly skilled in martial arts.
https://me.me/i/kermit-the-frog-denies-being-in-a-relationship-with-denise-12280325
She was then admitted to an asylum catering to Muppets – especially ones falling into hard drugs and sex addiction involving autoerotic asphyxiation – where they can no longer sing and dance for the man. This occurred after they raided her mansion, finding a secret passage where there were several voyeuristic pictures of Kermit. Some of his items were taken from set and laid in a little shrine dedicated to him, and there were many drawings depicting Denise being brutally murdered in different, and quite clever ways.
Sources say that, after Miss Piggy underwent several psychiatric evaluations, it was determined that their relationship was merely a delusion in her mind which is now “disturbingly clear.” She will be heavily sedated and spend the remainder of her days in the asylum.
That is, if they can keep her locked up.
Chris Joyal
A nineteen year old unhealthily obsessed with Hannibal memes and anything darkly humorous. Or any stupid pun that my little brain capacity can comprehend. Often called a cave-dweller or ghost by known relatives, and probably a few classmates as well, because of my rare sightings and frequent disappearances, like Big Foot, or the Loch Ness Monster.
