Healthy Living Ruins Your Life
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So, here’s the thing. I get bombarded everywhere with voices telling me that I should be healthier. They say I should eat better food, work out more, or go for runs, all under the guise of trying to make me a healthier person. For example:
“Too many potatoes are bad for you. Here, have some of my veggies.” –Best friend
“Eat your greens!” –Mom
“If you’re going to eat so many potatoes, you should be working out too.” –Doctor
“Potatoes are not a vegetable.” –Classmate
“Nutella gives you cancer.” –Boyfriend
I mean, it’s pretty clear that all the people who are meant to support me are really just trying to ruin my life. No potatoes? Yeah right. They say that it’s for my own good, but I can debunk their arguments just as quickly as they say them.
Now, this is the kind of healthy living that I can easily support. Who could say no to a home-grown pizza?
ARGUMENT #1: IT MAKES YOU ENERGETIC AND HAPPY
I’ve got one word for you, sister: coffee. Why would I want to subject myself to hours of physical torture every day at the gym, exhausting myself every week just so I can ‘have more energy’? Do you mean to say that tiring myself out at the gym will somehow make me less tired?
On that note, I’d really like to know how suffering through countless hours working out and running, and slaving over salads is supposed to make me happy. That sounds miserable to me! How about I just save myself the pain, the time and all that energy by sipping on a caffeine-filled cup of cappuccino goodness? I can show you instant results.
ARGUMENT #2: IT MAKES YOU MORE COMFORTABLE WITH YOURSELF
This one makes me laugh. You think I’d be more comfortable wearing a veggie crown of carrots and peppers than stuffing my face with those glorious garlic mashed potatoes from comfort-food heaven? Think again.
Additionally, I can assure you that I will not be comfortable with my body when the judgmental walls of mirrors magnify every flaw of my routine and body from every angle. Not only that, but I am put on display so that everyone else at the gym will be able to see how awful I am at working out. Do you really expect me to feel confident with Mr. Macho right there, deadlifting weights twice the size of me? Absolutely not! No, I am most comfortable with myself when I’m cuddled up with my sweatpants and a bowl of potato chips, and you can't tell me otherwise.
ARGUMENT #3: IT’S GOOD FOR YOUR BODY:
Alright, everyone hold the phone. Do you know who I hear complaining about ailments and pain the most? That’s right, it’s all those healthy nuts out there! You certainly don’t hear me crying about how I can’t walk up the stairs because yesterday was leg day. And you won’t see me choking down some revolting protein shake because it’s supposed to make me healthier.
Who are the one’s suffering from knee problems because they run too much? The marathoners. Who are the ones with popped shoulders and arthritis? The weightlifters. Should I mention that half of those who visit physiotherapists are athletes? That’s right. The amount of pain that these ‘healthy’ friends of mine are in really makes me question whether it’s actually good for my body or not.
So this is for you, Mom, and all those other healthy experts trying to ruin my life. I see what game you’re trying to play, and I refuse to take part in it! You think I should ‘take better care’ of myself, but it looks like I’m doing just fine as it is!
And what’s with the hate against the potatoes, anyway?! I’m just sayin’.
Caitlin Bouwma looks at the world through her own set of binoculars. You'll often find her walking around with a camera or her pen and paper. Optimistic yet opinionated, she’s got a thing or two to say about the activities of her generation and those like it.
