Cage Match Round One
/Welcome to Cage Match, where I review bad Nicolas Cage movies in one hundred words or less, while simultaneously sorting them into one of three categories: "so bad it's good," "so bad it's just bad," and '"so bad it's boring."
Vampire's Kiss isn't good—at least not in the traditional sense. It is a very flawed movie, and it struggles with things like sound design, having a coherent plot, and being taken seriously. As far as bad movies go, however, it's a marvel, and it features some excellent examples of Nicolas Cage's particular brand of weirdness.
Cage plays Peter Loew, a literary agent who loses his grip on reality after being bitten by a vampire who may or may not exist (it's complicated). This film includes some of his most famous freak-outs, and is definitely worth watching.
RATING: SO BAD IT'S GOOD
This John Woo film has more than earned its place as one of Cage's better-known bad movies. The main premise of the movie involves FBI agent Sean Archer (played by John Travolta) literally switching faces with terrorist Castor Troy (played by Nicolas Cage) in order to defuse a bomb hidden somewhere in Los Angeles. Much of the film involves Nicolas Cage doing John Travolta impressions while he plays face-swapped Sean Archer, and he pulls it off pretty well. If you're into cheesy action movies that also happen to be hilarious, you'll love Face/Off.
RATING: SO BAD IT'S GOOD
I chose this movie solely on the basis that it has a 2% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. The rating is entirely justified—Left Behind is an absolute mess. The pacing is terrible, the dialogue is awful, the acting is wooden, and the plot doesn't consistently make sense. Nicolas Cage plays pilot Rayford Steele in an utterly underwhelming performance that completely fails to make the film worth watching. While the premise—which involves the aftermath of The Rapture—could theoretically be interesting, Left Behind is anything but, and should be avoided at all costs. Don't watch it. Just don't.
RATING: SO BAD IT'S BORING
Sharon van Wyngaarden
Sharon van Wyngaarden is a student in the Professional Writing program at Algonquin College. She enjoys taking long walks, drinking tea, and a good book. She also loves spending time with friends - especially if it means subjecting them to the torment that is watching terrible Nicolas Cage movies.
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