Relationships aren’t easy - whether it’s a partnership or a friendship. It’s never easy figuring out how to navigate the unknown. You could easily fall into a trap without knowing how you got in it, and you might feel like you have no idea how to get out! 

Never fear, I’m here to help you recognize some relationships red flags so you know when things are starting to go sideways, as well as some words of wisdom to help you through it

The first thing to understand is that things take time.

You could be in a long relationship with someone before things end up turning ugly. At first, they might seem caring, loving and affectionate, but along the way they could turn on you and become cruel. These types of people are the ones to look out for and make sure you can cut them out of your life before it’s too late.

Notice the little things.

Some red flags don’t show themselves as verbal or physical abuse. Some flags are very subtle but still mean a lot. 

Things to watch out for:

• If they start being possessive of you, 

• If they use your caring personality to make you do what they want , 

• If they start crying to manipulate you. 

These little things are small but are still big red flags in a relationship. It can hurt you emotionally, even if you don’t realize the reasons for it.

A lot of the times, these flags are ignored by people, even when their friends or family members are telling them the relationship isn’t good. They often don’t realize it until things go too far. There are even people out there who think these types of relationships are normal and that these things are supposed to be the ins and outs of relationships… when they are not!

Now, I understand relationships leave emotional scars, a large gap of loneliness or even a gallon of self-blame, but know this:

You are not to blame. You were never the one to blame. What happened was not on you and it never will be. They might blame you for the failure of the relationship but if they are willing to try to guilt you into thinking it was your fault, then they are the ones to blame. 

If they start to bother you, even after you cut off all communications with them? Ignore it. Don’t stoop to their level and mock them. Don’t go out of your way to make them feel bad; be the bigger person for you both. Be the adult they can’t be.

And here’s some advice for a healthy, functional relationship:

COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR PARTNER!!

I can’t stress this enough!!

I’ve told this to so many people, and myself, time and time again. Some people don’t acknowledge this important aspect of relationships. They don’t talk with their partner or friend and expect to understand what the other half of the relationship is thinking or talking about. It isn’t right and can lead to many misunderstandings.

You have to talk with your partner or friend about what’s bothering you. If they don’t understand, or at least try to, then things could take a turn for the worse for both of you. Communicate with them - tell them you don’t like what they’re doing, to you or anyone else. Don’t just say everything is okay and don’t keep your mouth shut. Tell them what’s going on and they might just surprise you.

Kaden

Kaden’s a small second-year professional writing student. They’re a hard-working, loud student who wishes to be someone aspiring as the years go on. They love to read and write more than anything - online stories and more. If you’re looking for a good story, they’re the one to hit up! They can sing, they can knit - they can’t do anything, but they’re sure to try.