Distracted Boyfriend - His (Back)side of the Story
It was a fair day in 2015 when a dashing young man was taking a walk with his girlfriend downtown. Their sweet stroll turned sour when they passed a young lady, whose bottom caught the eye of the man, prompting him to stare back at it. His girlfriend noticed this and was less than amused, flashing him a look of disgust. Unfortunately for the man, the moment was caught on camera and shared online, sparking a meme the internet has had its way with for years.
“Distracted Boyfriend,” as he is now known, has received much flack since. His inability to avert his gaze has been compared to scenarios such as being preoccupied with choosing a film while your dinner gets cold or browsing new books while your unread books sit on the shelf. Now, four years later, Mr. Boyfriend is tired of being the butt of the joke, and is ready to tell his shocking side of the story in an exclusive interview with Meme Magazine.
It’s so accurate, you can’t help but stare.
MM: You say the “Distracted Boyfriend” meme is a total misunderstanding. Then what was it that made you stare at that woman’s derrière?
DB: It was a trap. My girlfriend was all like, “She has a nice ass, doesn’t she?” and like, what would you expect me to do? I looked!
MM: So, you’re saying your girlfriend baited you into looking at the woman?
DB: Yeah. So I looked, and then she gets all upset with me and is like, “I can’t believe you!” And to top it all off, this photographer just happens to be there to capture the whole thing! She set me up, and now the world thinks I’m some cheater! But I’m the victim here! I’m the one who’s been hurt the most by this!
MM: How so?
DB: So get this. A week after she flips at me, I come home from work and find her on the couch kissin’ up that same girl!
MM: Your girlfriend was with the other woman in the photograph?
DB: Yeah! She was cheating on me! And yet I’m the one getting all the shit from everyone! It’s not right!
MM: Why did your girlfriend want to set you up?
DB: Well, this isn’t the first time she’s cheated. We live at the house her dad bought for her - she’s from a pretty rich family, and she thinks because it’s her place, she can bring back any guy or girl she wants, even though we never agreed to that. I work hard. I spend most of my money on her. I try to make her happy, but she just uses me. I got sick of it, so I threatened to out her as a cheater to all her friends if she didn’t stop, and uh, I guess she beat me to that.
MM: What is the state of your relationship now that the fire has cooled?
DB: Her and I are long over, but I wanted to finally clear my name. Also, hey ladies! I’m single, and willing to stare at your ass all you want! My Snapchat user is “NotDistractedIPromise.”
Do you believe Distracted Boyfriend’s testimony? Let us know in the comments!
Brandi-Anne Hibbs
Brandi-Anne Hibbs has been quietly stalking and observing memes for over a decade, but still doesn’t quite understand their nature. Nevertheless, she’s dedicated to making sense of them through writing!