Put Your Faith in Horror

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Religion in horror almost made me return to faith. I wonder, am I the only one? 

I left religion behind in my twenties and swore I’d never return. But horror movies almost brought me back into the fold. Why?

I blame the 1984 film The NeverEnding Story. 

A snarling black bear with a face thin enough to pass for a black wolf

From Andre Tam on Unsplash.com

No horror movie or show has yet scared me more than when I was a kid seeing Gmork for the first time. And at five years old I’d snuck my aunt’s VHS of Species with Natasha Henstridge. How I managed to watch that without getting caught I’ll never know. Species freaked me out, but my love of horror began there. I watched it another four times. So when I say I was scared of a creepy black wolf with terrible CGI, it’s not like I had nothing to compare it to. But to this day a snarling black wolf is my vision of terror. 

A few years ago I got into exorcism and antichrist themed horror. I felt a certain thrill in diving into the world that had been forbidden when I was an evangelical pastor. 

I had gone back to school, and like all students working on a second, third, or fourth degree, I was developing a nihilistic streak. You know, that point in school where you wonder if this will ever matter, ever get you a decent job, or ever make you feel as smart and accomplished as you once did back at some arbitrary point in your life. 

You know the one. We all have that one trophy, that one good mark, that one framed painting. And if you can’t ever reach that high again, is it really worth it?

I binged horror to stave off stress from procrastinating. I was watching Fox’s The Exorcist series and A&E’s Damien at the time. A friend from Bible college recommended I add the first two Conjuring films to my list, and I watched both one night between papers. 

I had terrible sleeping habits, and during a particularly bad crunch week in my master’s I had gone something like three or four nights without sleep. So there I was, typing away at my laptop, when something startled the hell out of me (pun intended?). It was probably a bird flying by the window, but I swear to you, what I saw in the shadows was Gmork. I saw the big bad black wolf as clear as you see these letters. 

I went back to church that Sunday. 

Jesus didn’t take, but I did feel better and I’ve wondered why ever since. 

My working theory is that religious horror primes us to see faith as the answer to evil. And sooner or later we all encounter evil. 

One pattern in movies and shows like these is how cool the religious protagonists are and how foolish or immature any atheists are made to look. After I introduced her to The Conjuring, my wife joked that we should be the next Ed and Lorraine Warren. They’re smart, funny, romantic, and they go out of their way to comfort a family in need with grace and maturity. It’s hard not to like them. 

And the lead priests in The Exorcist show are some of the most likeable characters I’ve ever seen in horror.

Contrast these with Bradley James’s portrayal of the antichrist in Damien. 

The show really plays up the irony of Damien being an atheist as a young adult, unaware of his true nature. In one telling scene, he goes to a funeral where the priest offers him a few words of comfort during the wake. Damien goes to town on the poor sod, citing every classic atheist argument in the book and calling the idea of a divine plan behind needless death and suffering a cruel joke. He doesn’t realize until finishing his tirade that he’s raised his voice so everyone in the room stops to listen, naturally offending almost everyone there. He’s made to look cold and insensitive, however smart his arguments. 

A lot of atheists are like that, embittered by painful experiences in the church. But many are the kindest people you’ll ever meet, and the trope of the insensitive, bullying atheist is a bit overplayed. But it strikes home just enough to make even the most militant atheist wonder if they’re missing something.

Maybe that’s what happened to me.

Tim McKay - Tim studied theology and worked as a pastor before leaving it all behind, making him the perfect cliche apostate from every religious horror flick.