To quote Last Week Tonight with John Oliver, “Ottawa is a depressing frigid shithole and always has been”. Subsequently, those of us who live here are saturated in gloom and despair from all those winters spent praying for the sweet release of death, just so we don’t have to shovel the driveway. But on the upside, Ottawa’s collective misery makes for a great Halloween season! And 2018 will be another killer, let me tell you.

So, whether you are looking for a few good scares, perhaps a thrill to break up the endless tedium, I, this blog’s resident vampire, will endeavour to pass along the good news. And of course, before I begin, it is important to note that all the following events are nocturnal-friendly. 

 THE HAUNTED WALK’S INCIDENT AT THE BUNKER: A ZOMBIE ADVENTURE!

Do you want to be trapped in an underground bunker while being chased by hordes of the undead this Halloween? Well, you are in luck. Now you can put all those years of practice running for the bus in five feet of snow to good use. The Incident at the Bunker will be running for three more nights, October 27th, 28th and November 3rd—so put it in your planner forthwith. Adult tickets are $26.75, and youth tickets (up to 17) are $23.75. Please gather your party at the Diefenbunker Guardhouse before your tour departs.

NATURE NOCTURNE AT THE CANADIAN MUSEUM OF NATURE

On the night of October 26th, the Canadian Museum of Nature invites you to a masquerade soiree in black. Guests can explore the museum after dark and mingle with the dinosaur skeletons from 8PM to midnight. Tickets are $25 and guests are to be 19 years of age or older; that means no younglings.

BILLINGS ESTATE HAUNTED HOUSE ON THE HILL

Built in 1827 by Braddish Billings, the Billings Estate is Ottawa’s oldest wood-framed house and the former home of four generations of the Billings family; including Elkanah Billings, Canada’s first palaeontologist, and Braddish Billings Jr., the architect responsible for designing the Trinity Anglican Church rectory on Bank Street. The Billings property also contains a cemetery, where many of Ottawa’s pioneers are interred.

Nowadays the estate is owned and maintained by the City of Ottawa as a museum for most of the year. However, on the nights of October 26th and 27th, the estate will become a haunted house. Advance tickets are sold out, but there are tickets sold for the final time slot (10:00PM) on a first-come-first-served basis, so don’t get there late, because this one is especially busy.

STITTSVILLE HAUNTED HERITAGE TOURS

You’ve probably heard of Ottawa’s Haunted Walk, but have you heard of Stittsville’s Haunted Heritage tours? Odds are you probably haven’t. And that is good news, because there’s nothing like a good ghost story that you have not heard before. The ninety-minute tours will be running until November 3rd, alternating between 7:00PM starts and 9:00PM starts. Tickets are $15. Book them quickly though, because they are selling out.

BEETLEJUICE: A CAPITAL POP-UP CINEMA PRODUCTION

On October 27th, Westboro Village and Capital Pop-Up Cinema will be hosting a screening of my personal favourite spooky classic, ‘Beetlejuice’. Hot cocoa, heating fans and cider will be available to keep movie-goers from sliding off the mortal coil mid-show, but everyone is encouraged to dress for the weather, which will inevitably be frigid and bitter. Showing begins at 7:00PM at 261 Richmond Road.

Natascha Wood

Natascha is a second year Professional Writing student and withered cemetery dweller, born in 1632, in Great Britain.