Baby Your Dog; Why Not Dog Your Baby?

New daycare centre teaches young kids old tricks.

By: Alexander Newman

While observing the growing trend of pet owners treating their small dogs as if they were their own offspring, Caesar McGraw, a former dog trainer and self-proclaimed baby whisperer, had an idea.

“I just saw all of these little dogs dressed up like people, eating people food and being pampered like small children by their owners and I thought, ‘well geez, maybe babies and puppies aren’t so different,’” Caesar said at the grand opening of his new west-end daycare centre Dog Your Baby last weekend.

The state-of-the-art daycare facility is taking a revolutionary approach to early childhood education by adapting the principles of canine training for use with toddlers. The staff, comprised of highly-experienced former dog trainers and daycare receptionists, will focus on building the babies’ cognitive and social skills through teaching tricks, fostering discipline and promoting the development of a pack-like mentality. McGraw believes strongly that human and canine social structures are extremely similar.

“I mean, we domesticated the things, right? So of course we’ve developed many common traits over the years. Even the toys we give dogs and babies are practically the same. Just look at squeaky toys.”

 In keeping with the centre’s roots of inspiration, each child is issued a complimentary decorative name collar which includes the phone number and address of the centre. While the idea of giving children pet collars has incited some negative feedback from local parents, McGraw defends the collars as being useful, aesthetically pleasing tools.

“The collars are very attractive, but they also serve a practical purpose. I mean, what if a baby runs away? This way when someone finds it they’ll know exactly where it came from. I mean, people have been putting their toddlers on leashes for years. I just don’t see the difference here.”

For an extra $1500 customers can choose to upgrade their child’s collar to a GPS tracking chip surgically implanted in the child’s neck. While this has also been met with concern, McGraw is quick to assure parents that this minor surgical procedure is performed by a fully-accredited veterinarian.

Another feature unique to Dog Your Baby is its anti-group-napping policy. Unlike conventional daycare centres, which allow children to nap together on floor mats, kids at Dog Your Baby are provided with individual napping crates. McGraw believes that using the crates will help foster independence, and help decrease the frequency of scared children crawling into bed with their parents at night.

Despite facing harsh criticism from the traditional daycare community, the centre has managed to gain some very high-level endorsements, including from the Right Honourable Stephen Harper who attended last weekend’s grand opening with his wife Laureen. When asked about his endorsement, he responded:

“The Harper Government (TM) has always supported young families with working parents. In fact, it’s a big part of Canada’s Economic Action Plan™. But we’re not here today on official business. Laureen and I just feel that the good work Mr. McGraw is doing here is in line with our own family values and traditions.”

Dog Your Baby Daycare Centre is now accepting applications from parents. While the centre is open to all, children who are already paper-trained will be given a slight priority.

Rizzoli & Isles: More than Just Friends?

This strong female duo gets picked up for another season.

By: Allison Godin

Tess Gerritsen's crime novels have recently made the translation from page to screen in the TV series Rizzoli & Isles. It's a growing trend that has resulted in such primetime hits as Game of Thrones, True Blood, and Pretty Little Liars. Rizzoli & Isles makes use of a familiar trope: a cop and scientist working together to investigate murders. We've seen this done on Bones and Body of Proof, and procedurals like NCIS and the many incarnations of CSI helped build the genre. What distinguishes Rizzoli & Isles from these shows is the series’ focus on two strong, intelligent female friends at the top of their respective fields.

The title characters are Homicide Detective Jane Rizzoli, played by Angie Harmon (Law & Order), and Chief Medical Examiner Dr. Maura Isles, portrayed by Sasha Alexander (NCIS). Rizzoli is a tough tomboy who, despite being the youngest officer to be promoted to detective in the Boston Police Department, has dealt with the prejudice directed at female cops. Dr. Isles, while brilliant and impeccably dressed, has a habit of diagnosing people in the same manner as she does those on her autopsy table. Her tendency to ask extremely personal questions and spout off irrelevant facts makes her socially awkward. This awkwardness fades slightly as the series progresses, but her love of science and logic manifests in an unwillingness to make guesses, and a lack of understanding of pop-culture references.

There is nothing particularly unique or original about this portrayal of females working in law enforcement or the field of forensics, but the close friendship between the title characters defines the show and makes it stand out from the others. In the novels, Jane and Maura gradually form a bond based almost entirely on mutual respect and their solitary positions as females in their fields. While this relationship could have been replicated on the show, the creators chose to show two women forming a close friendship. This relationship evolves quickly throughout the series and has reached a point where they are as close as family.

Fans of the show have become very vocal over the closeness of these friends. From the first episode, details such as eye contact and physical proximity have been picked apart for hidden subtext. It's been described as "the show that didn't know it was gay" because of the "Rizzles" romance that the creators never intended. Over the seasons, the show has acknowledged the input of fans by including subtle hints to an intimate relationship. Though the show will return this winter with the last few episodes of its fourth season, long-time fans have threatened to boycott the show until this intimate relationship, which exists solely in fan-fictions (for now), is realized on screen.

Watch Rizzoli & Isles on the TNT network in the United States, or Showcase in Canada, to find out if these women will remain friends or take their relationship to a new level.