How to Survive the Apocalypse, According to the Mayans
Every generation lives through an apocalypse or two.
Be it Y2K, the yearly Rapture claims or COVID-19, everyone likes to theorize about the end of days. However, this is no new phenomenon; we’ve had the nutjob on the street warning us for centuries. Records from ancient civilizations speak of prophesized world-ending events, ranging from angry gods to… well, other angry gods.
We’ll be looking at the ancient Aztec peoples’ myths for their tips and tricks on coping with impending, unstoppable, cataclysmic destruction.
In the Beginning…
According to the Aztecs, the universe was void until the first god created themself. Their name was Ometeotl. They were two beings, male and female, and symbolized duality. Ometeotl gave birth to four male gods (also known as Tezcatlipocas). Ometeotl is described as metaphysical, so they don’t participate in Earthly matters. This list states each son:
· Quetzalcoatl, the god of light, mercy and wind.
· Huitzilopochtli, the god of war.
· Xipe Totec, the god of gold, farming, and Springtime.
· Tezcatlipoca (Mayan for god. Yes, his name is just “God”): the god of judgment, night, deceit, sorcery, and the Earth.
The Mayans believed that there were four “Suns” (worlds) before ours, and we currently reside in the fifth and final one. Let’s look at the worlds that came before ours and try to learn from the gods’ (or our own) mistakes. Each Sun’s tale is labelled below, along with their cause of destruction.
First Sun: Humble Beginnings
The Four Sons created other gods and the first humans, who were giants. To create light, the four needed someone to become the sun. They decided on Tezcatlipoca, which was a terrible decision because Tezcatlipoca is the god of night—the exact opposite of the sun. He’s also missing a leg from an encounter with a primordial sea monster, Cipactli. Regardless, Tezcatlipoca became the Earth’s sun but was understandably only able to become half of a sun.
The world was okay for a while with a half-sun, until a sibling rivalry arose between Quetzalcoatl and Tezcatlipoca. The feud climaxed with Quetzalcoatl literally smacking the sun (his brother) out of the sky. The world became dark and, overcome with anger, Tezcatlipoca commanded his jaguars to eat all of humanity and thus ended the world.
Cause of destruction: Sibling rivalry
Second Sun: Electric Boogaloo
The Four Sons created some new humans, though they were now normal-sized. Quetzalcoatl, fresh from his victory, became the new sun. As time passed, the humans became less civilized and stopped respecting the gods. Tezcatlipoca retaliated, turning all humans into monkeys. Quetzalcoatl, who loved the humans, became upset and killed all the monkeys with a hurricane, thus ending the world.
Cause of destruction: Lack of divine respect
Third Sun: Raining Fire
The Four Sons repopulated Earth, and the god of rain and fertility, Tlaloc, became the new sun. However, Tezcatlipoca stole Tlaloc’s wife Xochiquetzal—the goddess of sex, flowers and corn—probably by flaunting the sick scar where his leg used to be. Tlaloc became depressed, causing a great drought on Earth. Humanity’s prayers for rain annoyed Tlaloc, eventually triggering his anger. Tlaloc answered their prayers with rains of fire, thus ending the world.
Cause of destruction: Infidelity
Fourth Sun: Blood Flood
The Four Sons created new humans yet again. This sun was Tlaloc’s new wife, Chalchiuhtlicue—the goddess of lakes, rivers, oceans, and beauty (nice catch, Tlaloc!). Chalchiuhtlicue was very loving of the humans, but Tezcatlipoca was a skeptic. Tezcatlipoca told Chalchiuhtlicue that she was merely faking her loving image to obtain the humans’ love. Chalchiuhtlicue was extremely upset by these statements. She then proceeded to cry blood for fifty-two years (!!!), causing a horrifying flood, thus ending the world.
Cause of destruction: Bullying
Current Sun: Cosmic War
Tired of his creation dying over and over again, Quetzalcoatl took it upon himself to resurrect all of humanity. He stole human bones from the underworld and used them to bring humans back to life on Earth. The fifth sun was Huitzilopochtli, who, according to Tzitzimimeh (demonic deities of the stars), was shining too brightly. Tzitzimimeh, with aid from Coyolxauhqui (goddess of the moon), leads an assault on Huitzilopochtli. Every night, the two battle, with Huitzilopochtli winning each morning.
To aid the sun in its fight against the night, the Aztecs sometimes gave human sacrifices to strengthen Huitzilopochtli. These sacrifices were performed only as a precaution and were not enjoyed, as opposed to popular belief. Some sacrifices were offered to Tezcatlipoca as well in fear of his judgment. If these sacrifices stopped or humanity were to anger the gods again, the fifth and final sun would turn black. The world shall be struck with a catastrophic earthquake, and Tzitzimimeh will kill Huitzilopochtli and all of humanity.
What can we do?
For starters, we should always be on our best behaviours for our divine watchers! Show respect and love for those who created us, be it family or deity. Be kind, trusting and faithful to one another.
If we cannot meet those requirements, we may need to create an ark and sail to Africa, 2012-style!
To view a comprehensive description of the Mayan apocalypse, click here!
To learn more about human sacrifice (you sicko), look at our blog post, On Human Sacrifice by Molly Desson!
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