First of all, I want to say that I AM NOT AN EXPERT NOR DO I KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT SEXUALITY.

Around the age of 14, I began to wonder why I never really took an interest in boys like my friends. When in elementary school I was like everyone else. I drooled over boys as well, but I knew I was never going to ask them out. So what's the harm with finding people physically attractive?

Moving on to high school, I was not the prettiest nor did I have any social skills. Around grade 11ish, most of my friends already had their first kisses and were in at least a week-long relationship.

I had not but I did kinda like a boy. He was an average joe and we started to hang out. As soon as I started to realize that he might like me, I shut down.

Why? Why would I shut down? Was it because I have dangerously low self-esteem? Trust issues?

I was scared.

I was scared that I would have to be a couple, hold his hand, and kiss him. KISS HIM.

The thought of kissing him was strange. Sickening almost. I didn’t really like him, but here I was pretending to be ‘romantic’ and ‘couple-y’ when it felt wrong. 

I resonate with being an asexual, but that does not mean I’m not attracted to people — not to mention that asexual is an umbrella term. I’m still learning about the differences, but what I understand is that I fall under the Demi-romantic category. I need to have a strong connection/emotional bond with someone before I am comfortable being “romantic” with them. The guy I ‘dated’ was not the one; I see now that I only ‘dated’ him because I wanted to be like my friends. 

Common Questions: ANSWERED BY K.C WITH AID OF GOOGLE

Q1. How do you know if you are an asexual?

A: There are 3 main types:

1. A person who never has felt the need or desire to have sex.

2. A person that is involved in romantic relationships without sex.

3. A person that is in a romantic relationship that does have a sexual desire ONCE a deep emotional bond is developed. 

Q2. Can asexuals fall in love?

A: Yes, asexuals can fall in love. Love does not always mean sex. Being asexual for some only means that they are not driven by sex to maintain a healthy long-lasting relationship.

Q3. Do asexuals feel pleasure/have sex?

A: Yes and no. Some asexuals do not have the drive, nor do they find satisfaction in the act. On the flip side, some do feel pleasure in it. Being asexual just means you are NOT DRIVEN or in need of sexual satisfaction to maintain a happy lifestyle.

Q4. How do you know if you are asexual if you are still a virgin? 

A: Sometimes the easiest way is to just do it. Asexuals, for the most part, don’t think about sex much. As I stated before, it is not a large part of their lives. Don’t ever feel pressured into having sex or having to make a choice of what your sexuality is. Just live your life. If you want to try having sex, go for it. If you don't, that's okay too. Either way, please be safe and don’t be afraid to voice your feelings and thoughts.

Why understanding sexuality and finding out and accepting your own is cool!

Understanding sexuality is important because it can allow you to be more open and understanding. Sexuality is complicated and confusing and that’s okay. You DON’T have to have it figured out by the age of 18; you have your whole life to figure out who you are. That’s the real reason for living, learning, experiencing and self-discovery. SO take your time, be yourself, smile and be safe.

K.C.

KC’s a very small carrot, who is a Professional Writing student at Algonquin College. KC is a bright student, whose passions have led her to want to work in the film industry as a horror and thriller scriptwriter. She loves watching horror movies, writing, painting, and baking in her spare time.