Some memories feel like they just happened yesterday. Yet others can feel so far away.

I remember just about everything from the trip my then-boyfriend and I took last summer. I remember the clothes I wore, the food we packed, and the name of the sweet lady who’s cabin we stayed at. I could tell you the name of the park we were visiting, the path we were hiking, and even the exact time that my boyfriend got down on one knee and became my fiancé. 

I knew that entire weekend that we were making memories I would want to hold onto forever. For some people, remembering details like these may seem like a breeze. But I am what you could call a poor historian — I struggle to hold onto my long-term memories. The fact that I can remember these specific details that happened 16 months ago is a small but mighty victory for me!

I’ve always wondered why long-term memories are easy for some to hold onto and not for others, so I did a little digging. What actually goes into making a memory?

Short-Term Memory: the RAM

The brain is a complex organ, so of course the answer to this question is complex as well. But to make this easier to understand, let’s compare the brain to a computer. Our short-term memory is like the RAM in our computers, only holding onto information that we are currently working with. Our short-term memory is probably a lot shorter than you think, lasting only between 15 to 30 seconds! 

For example, if someone tells you an address or phone number, without repeating the information to yourself until it’s been committed to memory you will eventually —and fairly quickly— forget this information. It’s super easy to interfere with our short-term memory with new incoming information, but if you take the time to attend to the information it might just make it to the next stage —long-term memory! 

Long-Term Memory: the hard drive

We have a love-hate relationship with our long-term memory, don’t we? It can hold super sweet moments with loved ones, but it can also cling onto things we might wish we could forget. 

Warning: we’re about to get scientific! Long-term memories actually have a physical presence in the brain. Neurons make physical connections and synapses with each other when a new long-term memory is made. This connection exists whether it’s being used or not. 

There are even different categories for these types of memories: explicit and implicit memories. Implicit memories are those habits and skills that our mind and body does automatically. Like driving a car or or typing on a keyboard.

Explicit memories on the other hand are things that we are consciously aware of. This is also split up into two different groups: episodic and semantic memories. Semantic memories are our general knowledge of a variety of things, such as knowing that the capital of Ontario is Toronto. Episodic memories are memories of things and events, like remembering when you got lost on your trip to Toronto. 

We have the hippocampus to thank for regulating our memories. This region of the brain links all of the information it believes to be relevant and encodes it into memories for us. So the next time you’re frustrated about being kept up late at night reliving a memory you would much rather forget, curse your hippocampus! 

Memories need homes too!

Unfortunately, like your computer, the brain does not have an endless amount of space to store all the memories you could possibly make in your lifetime. While newer memories can hang out in the hippocampus for a while, eventually they have to migrate further into your cortex. Consider this your brain filing things away for you. But unlike a book you can file away and come back to read the same old story again, memories are constantly being updated and tweaked. 

So where do memories go when we forget them? Can we get them back again? It often feels like some memories are gone forever, but they’re just like a lost shoe in your house. It’s there, somewhere, you just can’t use it! When we try to access forgotten memories, signals are sent from our frontal cortex and our computer —I mean brain— reconstructs the memory from the information available to it. The more often you use the memory, the easier it will be to find. 

Our senses often help to rebuild memories too. Our sense of smell is a wonderful tool to help us with memories, but simply being in the presence of any elements that were in your original memory will help with retrieval. So if you’re trying to remember something that happened during a pizza party, order yourself a pizza. This isn’t an exact science, but even if it doesn’t jog the memory you were hoping for, at least you have a pizza! 

Let’s remember, it’s okay to forget

Now that I’ve overloaded your brain with information, please don’t feel pressured into remembering everything you’ve just read. If you take away anything, let it be this: you can always relearn things, but you can’t always relive them. Our memories are precious to us because we can’t go and relive the same thing twice, not truely. 

Even when our memory fails us, we find ways to remember — from photographs and journals, to blogs and conversations. We have friends that will gladly remind us of all the embarrassing things we did on a night out. We have family that can retell that childhood story from when we were nine. 

Fond memories will find us, one way or another.

Peyton Scott

Peyton is a full-time student, part-time writer, and partial night owl. She falls in love with everything at least once, but especially (and in no particular order): words, furry creatures, empty notebooks, true crime, hikes (and probably you).

Instagram: @peyyscott

Twitter: @peyytonscott