By Kayla Randall

 There has got to be more to dating in the 21st century than looking at someone’s Facebook profile picture and their name, deciding whether or not you’d sleep with them, and swiping left or right. Left means no, right means yes. As a lefty, I’m automatically offended, but that’s a discussion for another day.

If you don’t know what Tinder is, I’ll give you the brief version. It’s a dating app for your phone that allows you to see other people in your area. If you’re interested and swipe right, and they’re interested and swipe right, you become a match. From there, you can chat each other up and see if you’re interested in more than just their face.

It’s superficial, and I hate it.

But if Tinder is good for anything, it’s an ego boost. When you see someone you’re attracted to and swipe right, and then you find out they swiped right too, it’s like hearing a chorus of angels. It’s like your inner narcissist just shot up with heroin and fell into a refreshing pool on a hot summer’s day. Beautiful; blissful.

And then you look at the person’s bio and there’s something about Netflix and chill and “we can pretend we met in a coffee shop.” Really? I want that to actually happen. I don’t want to lie about it and then have sex while an old episode of Friends plays in the background! What happened to old-fashioned romance? What happened to getting picked up and having dinner and seeing where things go from there?

What the hell happened?

The worst thing about it has to be finding people that you know on this stupid app. Or, almost worse than that, finding people who know people you know. Because then it becomes a dilemma: if I swipe right and match, great, but what if they tell the people we both know about us meeting on Tinder? And what if it doesn’t work out? Then there’s that awkward “oh, well it didn’t work out but we know the same people so there’s that off chance that we’ll see each other at a party.” And what if we actually see each other?

No, thank you.

It gets even weirder! I had the app on my phone when I went home over the summer, and the moment I opened it, I was looking at a guy I’d gone to high school with. High school, where you know everything about their relationship history, right down to who they got down and dirty with on prom night. Ridiculous.

I’m not saying that Tinder is a bad idea. If you’re looking for casual sex, put that in your bio and you’re golden. If you want a relationship, same thing. And it’s a lot more appealing to the younger crowd. Better to be swiping left and right on your phone than paying the creepy eHarmony guy to set you up with your “perfect match.” Ugh.

Tinder is a way to connect with the people you’re interested in. But so is Facebook. And Twitter and Instagram and Snapchat and so on and so forth. If you’re looking for a lay, Tinder is the place to be. But as for something deeper than Netflix and chill? Maybe not.  

Photo Credit: 4Photos

KAYLA RANDALL

Kayla Randall is a 20-year-old aspiring novelist with a passion for coffee, books, and driving around her hometown. Eldest of five siblings, she often misses home in Mississauga, but is still having the time of her life living in Ottawa and trying to make her mark in the literary world.

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